To say I am proud is an understatement!

It’s nearly here, two days in fact until we embark on a trip of lifetime. At first I thought it had been three years in the making, yet recently I realised it’s actually been 13 years of a dream that is about to come true.

The dream and desire to travel with my son was within me from the moment he took his first breath. I fell pregnant not too long after returning home from a European backpacking adventure in which I was craving to go back (the travel bug had hit me hard), I was limited. Well, so I thought, but only three months after he was born, we flew over to the UK and again when he was three to the US courtesy of my Dad. He has no memory on this. I always could envision travelling with him but for many years I thought this was impossible.

As many single parents would know, the thought of any kind of holiday, let alone one overseas seemed out of reach…until now.

For years I have felt envious of my friends going away on their annual holidays, buying or renovating their homes, purchasing new cars and living a life that I have not been able to do…as such. I would not take any of this away from then nor do I begrudge them – I’m thrilled when I hear of their happiness.  I have just had different circumstances.

It was only three Christmas’s ago that I had to reach out to The Salvation Army for help as I was struggling to pay bills. Since then, there has been a shift in circumstances and I am more financial now than ever before. It is not because I am making fabulous money or that my work ethics have changed. I think it is because I have learned to budget well, I’ve worked bloody hard (mind you, I always have), and mainly, I have changed my attitude. I had a goal and I made a plan to achieve it.

Working various jobs at the same time, budgeting, planning, and turning 40 (beautiful gifts from my family helped tremendously) I am now about to make a dream come true and go on a holiday, overseas, visiting three countries (four technically if you include Kuala Lumpur airport) and both my son and I will create memories we’ll never forget.

To say I am proud is an understatement!

To be honest, I’m not quite sure if it has hit me yet. There is always so much planning involved right up until you step foot on that plane or sit in that car ready to take off. It feels surreal, I’m quite nervous, anxious and ok, and I’m bloody excited.

I asked my son last week – “Are you getting excited”, he replied “No not really” he took a breath and mumbled, “I’m going to miss my friends”. Ok, so I caught the arrow to the heart just as it was about to pierce when I remembered what it was like to be a teenager. The fear of missing out, being out of the loop, loosing the status within the group and so on. I resisted my feeling of hurt and put him first (again). I organised for five of his friends to come for a sleepover and hang for a good part of the weekend. The aim of this was to help him feel connected with his mates and show that he will not be missing out on anything and as  it turns out, two of the five are also going overseas at the same time (this helped greatly).

Finally after asking for three days to get his clothes ready to be packed, it hit him. “I think I’m getting excited now Mum” he says and I lovingly smile.

Since this light bulb moment, not that we have spoken much of the actual holiday but we’ve been quite chatty about, well, anything and everything and I feel this is his reflection of the excitement building. He feels connected with me and I think deep down he knows what a big deal this all is.

Two more sleep until we are sitting on that plane, not really knowing what is ahead (well yes, we do have an itinerary but you know what I mean) and I’m nearly ready. This is our last night with our Rosie girl (our beautiful ginger feline) before we take her over to my Nan’s to catsit for us and I’m sure she would love to come, she even tried getting into the suitcase. 🙂

I want to document my trip, share my journey and adventures of travelling with a teenager and who knows what else we might unravel. Perhaps I’ll create a new dream, implement an existing one or discover something completely different along the way. What I do know is that I can’t wait for ride and hope you’ll join me along the way.

Love, Light, and snuggles always! xo

I’m a mother of a teenager and I’m excited!

It’s the eve of an era, the night before my boy becomes a teenager and I’m excited.

Crazy you say, some might think so; some may say I’m delusional, and even in denial, yet I’m not.  I’m truly excited and tonight I’m asking myself why?

Over the past couple of days my feelings of sadness and negativity towards my son turning into a teenager have gone. I had so much fear.  The fear of being alone, of him not needing me, the fear of having no significance in his life, the fear he may not love me as much, and fear of the unknown.

I think this fear started to shift a few weeks ago as I shed a few tears while chatting with my Mum. I was complaining how I had been confined to my room over the Christmas holidays as my son and his friends took over the lounge room. I was sad and felt alone due to the snippets of dialogue I seemed to grab in between his conversations with his friends either in the room or via Skype and other forms of social media.

My Mum listened and then said, “you know Shell, he needs you more now than ever and just knowing you are in the other room is the biggest comfort you can give him.” Just as Mum said these words, in came my beautiful boy, leaned over, kissed me, and then walked out again.

Mums do not stop being right.

I think this was the pivotal moment where my fear shifted. I started to embrace what lies ahead.

I am planning a big holiday later in the year that I’ve been saving towards for a couple of years. It occurred to me that he will be the perfect age to travel, to take in all the culture and be the best companion while we share these experiences.

I’m excited!

I started to have little daydreams about teaching him to drive, watching him excel further in school and in life, meeting future girlfriends, knowing he’ll always need me to some degree even if he doesn’t know it; helping him with career choices, making his own travel plans, and the list goes on.

No, I didn’t get as far of thinking about grandkids – ewe now that’s just incomprehensible. 😉

But I did start to get excited.

I started to reflect on my friends who have teenagers and one dear friend in particular, Sam who has a few. I don’t think Sam realises what an amazing mother she is and what a great teacher she has been to me.

Her teachings and insights have been in abundance. I have been shown how to be patient, not to judge to hastily, to pick your battles, and how to really love and let go.

Through Sam, I’ve become excited.

I’m excited that like Sam, I too may influence and share insight with my other darling girlfriends who are mums or soon to be with younger children who one day, soon enough will also be facing the eve of teenagehood.

I’m excited as I write this, that my boy’s just got out of bed struggling to sleep due to the excitement of tomorrow – I think they always stay little boys to some degree.

I am very proud of the young man my son has become. As he enters this new phase, I am also proud that I have had something to do with it.

So am I crazy, I think not. I’m a mother of a teenager and I’m excited!

Happy Birthday Bubba! I love you more than all the stars in the universe. I’m so proud of the beautiful soul you are and the amazing young man you are becoming.

Bring on the teenagehood!

Love, light and snuggles xo