Tag Archives: Mum

Jun 26 2015

Parenting is a Privilege

My son deserves a champion in his life, one who will never give up on him. A person who understands the importance of the connection between a parent and a child and one who insists he becomes the best person he can possibly be.

I would like to think I am that person.

What I find just as important is that my son is my champion, my connection and my motivation to become the best person and parent I can possibly be.

I did not think it was possible to love my child any more than the moment he was born, yet I did.  My heart continues to make space for this growing love.

What a privilege it is being a parent – I’m so honoured!

Love and Light 🙂

May 12 2014

Happy Mother’s Day!

A little poem I wrote dedicated to all the special women out there, in particular my darling Mum and Nan. Love, Light and Snuggles to you all!  Happy Mother’s Day! xo

The feeling of comfort
No matter how old we may become
From our first breath in life
To ourselves as grown up Mums

The feeling of happiness
Knowing there is always that love
Either here in person beside us
Or from those that are up above

The feeling of gratitude
For they are why we are
A hero in retrospect
With learned lessons near and far

The feeling of true inspiration
With many of you I’m in awe
With beautiful hearts and souls
You are worthy of this cause

The feeling of deep love
For those that are, have been or will become
You are all wonderful women
You are all amazing Mums

Feb 5 2013

I DID IT!

image from horseshoepets.com

image from horseshoepets.com

How I’ve missed writing for my Blog and writing in general!  Here we are well into 2013 and what an eventful year it has been already.

At the end of November 2012, after endless sleepless nights, hours and hours of studying, hair pulling, tantrums, tears, exasperation, elation, highs and lows, not to mention the physical toll it took on my body, I finished my communications degree. It then wasn’t to mid January 2013 that I found out my fate, which was that I had indeed gained the marks I needed for my final two units to complete my degree and now I am waiting for my official invitation to the graduation in July.  I DID IT! OMG I did it and I’m not quite sure how I did, but I did and the feeling is amazing yet somewhat confusing.

image from deepbox.com

image from deepbox.com

I am not sure if it has hit me yet, the fact I have finished. I mean I know I am no longer opening up text books, responding to discussion forums, writing into the wee hours of the night to complete assignments and studying up for exams – that of course is obvious, yet somewhere within me I’m struggling to adjust. My body is still on the same time clock of the ridiculous hours I kept and the lack of sleep. I’m feeling somewhat lost in not knowing what is next. I am missing my connections with my fellow university students and that feeling of truly accomplishing something.  Its crazy isn’t it! After 3 years of studying fulltime, working 3 jobs, raising a child on my own and all the other bits in between of managing, I should be ecstatic that I now have time to reflect, adjust, catch up and relax and more importantly to be a good mother to my son. I am not saying I wasn’t a good mother, as I know I was, but he was neglected to a degree as any spare time was taken up with studying or working. I did thrive for a balance and I feel in parts I achieved this and I also know deep down the end result was always in the back of our minds, and that there was a reason for all the sacrifices made.

301472_10151109792581553_1711493253_n-1As I take this time to reflect on my recent journey, I am realising what I have discovered and learnt goes way beyond the units I studied in my degree.  I found that there is much more to life than what is put in front of us. Knowledge goes further than the books we read, the papers we skim over or the television shows we watch.  We can become complacent in the mundane things in life, and that is ok, yet there is so much more out there in the big wide world to be exposed to, to absorb, and be exposed to. I truly believe now, that with determination, motivations, discipline, and making sure you surround yourself with wonderful loving people that anything is possible. It could be the smallest of goals or something on a larger scale, yet if it is something that you truly want, then there should not be anything stopping you in achieving it – YOU CAN DO IT!

From the depths of my heart I would publicly like to thank my amazing family, my wonderful friends, my beautiful university friends and to all who have supported me throughout this adventure. Your unconditional love, motivation, encouragement, ears for listening, your spoken words, the countless snuggles you have supplied and for believing in me…

I LOVE YOU and THANK YOU! XO

Oct 26 2011

What is in a name?

image by fbcjaxwatchdog.blogspot.com

What is in a name? How much importance does our name carry and what does it mean to a child?

On my son’s birth certificate, his surname is his fathers.  At the time, obviously you don’t think about the possibilities of not staying together so the name for me was not a major point of discussion.  Once we had separated, I started to feel uncomfortable whenever I had to use both our surnames, for example making a doctor’s appointment and so on.  I could sense people looking at me in a particular way, questioning my relationship with ‘MY’ child and acting curious of the background behind the two different names when read out loud. I had to deal with this and I did without anyone really knowing how it was cutting me up inside.  Then, one day my son started to question the difference in our names.  He was also suffering and it was causing him confusion and despair and he let me know he wanted the same as Mummy. I tried to explain the legal side although I did this poorly and quite possibly caused more confusion for the poor soul, however I did my best. I also explained what I thought was morally the right answer as I did not know better

As time passed, my son kept bringing up the subject of his name and asking if he could have the same one as me.  I felt awful as I wasn’t sure of the right answer to give him.  After some thorough researching and checking on my court orders, we (my son and I) came to the decision we would change it and we did.  My son’s name is now hyphenated with my surname first and his father’s second.  I had an appointment with the school principal who agreed graciously with the new name and from the following year, my son took on a new identity almost and he had never been happier.  I sensed he felt more connected with me now we shared a name and over time, my part of the name is more used than the other.

As I have sole responsibility (which in the older term was known as sole custody), I actually have the right to apply to get a new birth certificate with the desired name.  This is certainly on our ‘to do list’ and once we can afford this, we will be changing the name officially.  My son’s father was not happy about this decision at all and at times has caused stress and grief, and an overreaction causing embarrassment, yet at the end of the day it was in the best interest of the child. In my case, it was my son’s choice and after much discussion and counselling of the idea, I supported him and his decision and it could not have worked out any better.

I ask you if you, have been in a similar situation – if so, what did or would you do?

Do you feel it was right that I changed the name of my son although different to what is on his birth certificate?

Do you feel this decision takes anything away from the father, particularly if they do not play a major role in the child’s lives?

I would love to hear your comments and discuss this subject as I feel for many it is a sensitive issue for all involved.

Love and Light

xo

I have found some sites for those of you who are curious about name change and children’s rights.

Ferguson Cannon Lawyers:  http://www.fclawyers.com.au/fact_finders/view/120/category:3

Births, deaths and marriages registries:  http://australia.gov.au/topics/law-and-justice/births-deaths-and-marriages-registries

Australian Human Rights Commission – Children’s Rights:    http://www.hreoc.gov.au/human_rights/children/index.html

Sep 30 2011

You are not alone!

Do you feel the emotions of disappointment, failure, loneliness, victimisation to name just a few as you enter or live in the syndrome of single parenthood?

Do you find yourself asking, “how the hell am I going to do this”; “how am I going to find the money to survive”; “how will I ever find love again”; or “am I the only one going through this?”

The choice of raising a child on your own quite possibly is the hardest decision you will ever make and not one to take lightly.  For others this lifestyle was not a personal choice and one-handed to them by default.  Whichever way you have found yourself in this predicament, we all hold our own stories to tell, and nevertheless we live a life of similarity.

Why this Blog is for you
Do you often have questions where you feel it is impossible to find the answers? If you do, then you are like me and the road of walking as a single parent can and is daunting and quite isolating. Sadly the statistics are proving there are more single parenting families in current times than ever before. The Australian Bureau of Statistics reported in June 2011 just under a million homes consisted of lone parent families, and of this 83% were single mother families.   When looking at this ratio, it is obvious those of us who can feel alone know we are not and it gives more reason to have places and associations available where one can obtain relevant information.

Single parents have a duel responsibility in their households and get tired beyond belief. Compared to two-parent households, lone parents have not only reduced money but also half the adult time resources available as cited in a journal by Salome Bronnimann from The Master’s College.  Single parents try to fit everything into the day and still be available for their children’s emotional and psychological needs and doing this is a juggling act whilst maintaining some form of sanity, dignity and individualism.

Where to begin
Solo Talk SP will provide information on various issues of single parenting, relating between emotions one could feel, through to the dramas of cooking, dating and finding love. The Blog will also provide links and posts associated to organisations that exist and may supply the data you are trying to find.  Centrelink, Child Support Agency (CSA) and Relationships Australia are just the starting point in finding the answers among others who offer a variety of services which can assist you in the healing process and to help you move forward.

By following this Blog, you will be sharing in a personal journey of a single parent, while finding answers too many of your questions along the way. You will find encouragement and assurance in knowing you are not alone in the world of single parenting.

*image from dudoism