A crisis as described by Lifeline is when someone has a personal reaction to an event or experience in their life they find hard to cope with.

In my lifetime so far…I’ve had quite a few crisis’s and each time you survive, you feel stronger yet question why the hell you had to go through it. In time you will reflect of them and yourself to help clarify things but there will always be unanswered questions.

Recently I’ve been facing another crisis and it’s been tough. I heard a woman on a TV program the other day going through something similar who said “I feel sorry for people without children as my child is what keeps me going – what do they have?”

My son is my reason, my rock, my everything and he is my purpose. He is why I get up in the morning, why I work so hard to do all I can to provide for him and create opportunities for our survival even if I get knocked down and at times fail.

There are other factors that have assisted in my purpose, my strength, my being, my courage, the occasional smile and the snippets of positiveness. These factors are simple and sometimes small but in the scheme of things they are HUGE.

‘It’s the simple things that mean the most!’

I’m sure many of you can relate. Possibly you’ve got a family who has offered to pay a bill or help with rent. Maybe you’ve had a Mum who does what she can by offering you love and affection and may help to pay for your child’s school camp and medication. I’m sure you’ve had at some point a best friend who feels she isn’t doing much but the fact she is calling every second day to check on you is more than you could ever ask for.

What about when your fridge broke down in the midst of this crisis and the refrigeration mechanic after spending time chatting takes some money off the amount he quoted you. He tells you to spend it on something else. You do.  You buy that part for the vacuum finally and can now clean your house and doesn’t it look and feel fabulous.

Maybe it’s the random phone call or the out of the blue gesture that helps you feel real, human, alive and grateful. It could be that dear friend who shouts you a coffee or offers you a day’s work more often than normal just to give you that extra cash to help you through.

It is the simple things that can make you smile even if it is for a moment. The simple things that help you feel loved and cared for.

For the simple things that mean so much – THANK YOU – you know who you are! xo

Sometimes pain can be our best teacher…

Teardrops fall upon your face
The smile that once shined fades,
The laughter that deafened friend’s ears
Now silenced and frayed.

The pain takes its toll
Signs are starting to show,
The heart is wanting to give
But must beat for the blood to flow.

Your faith in hope has weakened
Eyes tired and your energy is low,
Your child keeps you going…just
That brave face is on show.

The signs will start to fade away
That smile will resurface…eventually,
Tears will dry, the sun will shine
the child will be your remedy.

To say I am proud is an understatement!

It’s nearly here, two days in fact until we embark on a trip of lifetime. At first I thought it had been three years in the making, yet recently I realised it’s actually been 13 years of a dream that is about to come true.

The dream and desire to travel with my son was within me from the moment he took his first breath. I fell pregnant not too long after returning home from a European backpacking adventure in which I was craving to go back (the travel bug had hit me hard), I was limited. Well, so I thought, but only three months after he was born, we flew over to the UK and again when he was three to the US courtesy of my Dad. He has no memory on this. I always could envision travelling with him but for many years I thought this was impossible.

As many single parents would know, the thought of any kind of holiday, let alone one overseas seemed out of reach…until now.

For years I have felt envious of my friends going away on their annual holidays, buying or renovating their homes, purchasing new cars and living a life that I have not been able to do…as such. I would not take any of this away from then nor do I begrudge them – I’m thrilled when I hear of their happiness.  I have just had different circumstances.

It was only three Christmas’s ago that I had to reach out to The Salvation Army for help as I was struggling to pay bills. Since then, there has been a shift in circumstances and I am more financial now than ever before. It is not because I am making fabulous money or that my work ethics have changed. I think it is because I have learned to budget well, I’ve worked bloody hard (mind you, I always have), and mainly, I have changed my attitude. I had a goal and I made a plan to achieve it.

Working various jobs at the same time, budgeting, planning, and turning 40 (beautiful gifts from my family helped tremendously) I am now about to make a dream come true and go on a holiday, overseas, visiting three countries (four technically if you include Kuala Lumpur airport) and both my son and I will create memories we’ll never forget.

To say I am proud is an understatement!

To be honest, I’m not quite sure if it has hit me yet. There is always so much planning involved right up until you step foot on that plane or sit in that car ready to take off. It feels surreal, I’m quite nervous, anxious and ok, and I’m bloody excited.

I asked my son last week – “Are you getting excited”, he replied “No not really” he took a breath and mumbled, “I’m going to miss my friends”. Ok, so I caught the arrow to the heart just as it was about to pierce when I remembered what it was like to be a teenager. The fear of missing out, being out of the loop, loosing the status within the group and so on. I resisted my feeling of hurt and put him first (again). I organised for five of his friends to come for a sleepover and hang for a good part of the weekend. The aim of this was to help him feel connected with his mates and show that he will not be missing out on anything and as  it turns out, two of the five are also going overseas at the same time (this helped greatly).

Finally after asking for three days to get his clothes ready to be packed, it hit him. “I think I’m getting excited now Mum” he says and I lovingly smile.

Since this light bulb moment, not that we have spoken much of the actual holiday but we’ve been quite chatty about, well, anything and everything and I feel this is his reflection of the excitement building. He feels connected with me and I think deep down he knows what a big deal this all is.

Two more sleep until we are sitting on that plane, not really knowing what is ahead (well yes, we do have an itinerary but you know what I mean) and I’m nearly ready. This is our last night with our Rosie girl (our beautiful ginger feline) before we take her over to my Nan’s to catsit for us and I’m sure she would love to come, she even tried getting into the suitcase. 🙂

I want to document my trip, share my journey and adventures of travelling with a teenager and who knows what else we might unravel. Perhaps I’ll create a new dream, implement an existing one or discover something completely different along the way. What I do know is that I can’t wait for ride and hope you’ll join me along the way.

Love, Light, and snuggles always! xo