As Simple As It Gets…

Simple? Saying I love you is as simple as it gets.

“I love you to the moon and back” have been the special words I have spoken to my son since he was born. I have it written on an old blackboard, which I refuse to rub out and delete – they are special and I want us to read them over and over again.

I actually love him much more than that, yet to summarise it into one sentence, the words suit my purpose.

“I love you more than the stars in the universe” are also common words I say to my son and each time even if the smile these days doesn’t exactly stretch across his face, they mean the world to him.

I feel as a parent, it is very important to let our children know and feel loved and how much regularly. My son often had doubts and would query what a ‘family’ consists of.  He would have upsets regarding his father questioning why he would do certain things or act in a particular way that scared him, use the words he chose or promise things and never deliver.

My son had doubts and at times lacked loved for himself, and the one thing I did not want him to ever question was my love. It may have been words expressed through my voice, or words written on a post it note that he would find in his lunchbox, and now as he is older it is commonly found in a text and perhaps a message via social media. Whatever it is, he has always read somewhere that I love him.

I feel it is paramount as a parent to back up the words through action. It is known that often actions speak louder than words, yet what a powerful combination when we use both. We underestimate how intuitive our children are and what signs they pick up on even if we feel they have no idea…aha yet they do.

For me or should I say for my son, showing him my love could be by turning up to watch his school sports (although ideally I should have been in bed resting); becoming involved in his weekend sports through managing one team or becoming a trainer in the other (some say I’m crazy doing both); making sure I’m available for when he is ready to talk; trusting him with situations although you would rather keep him at home covered in cotton wool; allowing him his space although he knows you are near by or simply buying his favourite treats.

The list can go on as it could for all parents and it’s often the small things like it is when you’re an adult where the simple can speak volumes.

Saying “I love you” and backing it up is as simple as it gets – if you are not saying it today, perhaps you can say it tomorrow?!

Love & Light 🙂

THANK YOU FOR THE SIMPLE THINGS…

A crisis as described by Lifeline is when someone has a personal reaction to an event or experience in their life they find hard to cope with.

In my lifetime so far…I’ve had quite a few crisis’s and each time you survive, you feel stronger yet question why the hell you had to go through it. In time you will reflect of them and yourself to help clarify things but there will always be unanswered questions.

Recently I’ve been facing another crisis and it’s been tough. I heard a woman on a TV program the other day going through something similar who said “I feel sorry for people without children as my child is what keeps me going – what do they have?”

My son is my reason, my rock, my everything and he is my purpose. He is why I get up in the morning, why I work so hard to do all I can to provide for him and create opportunities for our survival even if I get knocked down and at times fail.

There are other factors that have assisted in my purpose, my strength, my being, my courage, the occasional smile and the snippets of positiveness. These factors are simple and sometimes small but in the scheme of things they are HUGE.

‘It’s the simple things that mean the most!’

I’m sure many of you can relate. Possibly you’ve got a family who has offered to pay a bill or help with rent. Maybe you’ve had a Mum who does what she can by offering you love and affection and may help to pay for your child’s school camp and medication. I’m sure you’ve had at some point a best friend who feels she isn’t doing much but the fact she is calling every second day to check on you is more than you could ever ask for.

What about when your fridge broke down in the midst of this crisis and the refrigeration mechanic after spending time chatting takes some money off the amount he quoted you. He tells you to spend it on something else. You do.  You buy that part for the vacuum finally and can now clean your house and doesn’t it look and feel fabulous.

Maybe it’s the random phone call or the out of the blue gesture that helps you feel real, human, alive and grateful. It could be that dear friend who shouts you a coffee or offers you a day’s work more often than normal just to give you that extra cash to help you through.

It is the simple things that can make you smile even if it is for a moment. The simple things that help you feel loved and cared for.

For the simple things that mean so much – THANK YOU – you know who you are! xo

Sometimes pain can be our best teacher…

Teardrops fall upon your face
The smile that once shined fades,
The laughter that deafened friend’s ears
Now silenced and frayed.

The pain takes its toll
Signs are starting to show,
The heart is wanting to give
But must beat for the blood to flow.

Your faith in hope has weakened
Eyes tired and your energy is low,
Your child keeps you going…just
That brave face is on show.

The signs will start to fade away
That smile will resurface…eventually,
Tears will dry, the sun will shine
the child will be your remedy.

Centrelink supports…REALLY?

This week unfortunately I’ve had to register with Centrelink as my circumstances are dire and I’m out of work.

Just over a year ago the ‘Single Parenting Pension’ changed to a new system called ‘Newstart Allowance’ thanks to the former government. Why they decided to get rid of it is totally beyond me, however, what I do know is that it screwed me over and as far as I believe pretty much every other single parent that relied on it.

I dealt with it and fortunately I managed without it and actually had a better financial year than I ever had due to working hard with various jobs and managing my money very well.

Now, I’m back having to use the system again but this time it’s different. After today, I now understand…I don’t think I’ll ever understand it actually but I am aware of how the ‘new’ system works and to be honest I feel shock and in disarray.

Firstly I called Centrelink to find out more of what I had to do, as I needed financial help while I look for work, I have no income coming in. I was told I had to apply via the application form online…everything now is online.

I applied online answering various questions and then had to book in an appointment with ‘Employment Plus – Salvation Army’, which is basically a recruitment agency assigned by the government. The next available appointment was the following week and in the meantime I am waiting to be sent a profit and loss form that I need to fill out (due to my Sole Trading history) which I need to upload online before my 14 day application timeframe ends. Mind you, each time I have tried to upload paperwork as required it hasn’t worked and you end up in the office wasting half a day for someone to be free to hand the forms in….anyways.

Today I had my appointment with a really lovely lady who was sympathetic and helpful as best she could be. It was explained to me that I am in band 1, which means I am ‘independently looking’ for work. I am to apply for maximum 10 jobs via proof using a form, which is handed in fortnightly and this will continue for 14 weeks (unless I find work). After this time, I am to return to Employment Plus to check in and will continue to check in once a month for half an hour at a time. After 52 weeks, yes that’s right 52 WEEKS if still unemployed only then will Employment Plus assist me in looking for work.

If we look on Centrelink’s website, the description for the ‘Newstart Allowance’ says,

            “Financial help if you are looking for work. It supports you while you do  activities that may increase your chances of finding a job.”

What support are they offering me to help increase my chances of finding a job? Bloody nothing!

The lady from Employment Plus advised after explaining to her in confidence that I have been feeling very depressed and desperate that there is another possible option. The lady said I could use this ‘depression’ to get extra assistance by moving me to the next band of 2 which would mean I could get more financial assistance with travel for interviews, clothes to wear to interviews if needed (it’s not) and more importantly assistance in finding work.

To be able to get to this band, I need to have my GP warrant a medical certificate declaring I am ‘depressed’. I then have to bring this certificate back with me to Employment Plus, have an appointment with Centrelink who will book in an evaluation to assess my depression and to bring along any evidence of my depression to help back up my claim.

WTF???!!!

I left my appointment feeling supported emotionally by this lady who really was sympathetic to my cause and almost disgruntled at the system that she had to abide by but I was quite numb. I soon became quite angry and still now am in shock at this ‘new’ system.

The government complains about ‘bludgers’ and how much people like me are costing the country. There are general folk and many I know have this opinion and are quick to stereotype and label those like me in a similar position as free loaders and are in some minds a waste of space.

There probably are people out there who deserve the labelling and I’ve known a few I can tell you. BUT, I don’t and there are thousands like me who hate that they’re in this position but have no choice.

When I found out today the government has the means and resources to help people like myself to find work but they don’t is astonishing. The fact that there is other agencies like Employment Plus around the country contracted by the government and yet their purpose is not utilised until after a 52 week waiting period is gobsmacking bloody pathetic.

The lovely lady who helped me today is from New Zealand and explained that our system was backwards to her hometown. Their system apparently is that if someone finds himself or herself out of work, they go to these agencies that help them find work prior to actually applying for benefits. This makes sense to me – does it to you? Why can we not adopt the same system? Imagine how much money the country would save and the reduction in unemployment!

As I wait to see if I am approved for the ‘Newstart Allowance’ I pray that I will not require it for long or the ‘assistance’ by Centrelink.