It’s the eve of an era, the night before my boy becomes a teenager and I’m excited.
Crazy you say, some might think so; some may say I’m delusional, and even in denial, yet I’m not. I’m truly excited and tonight I’m asking myself why?
Over the past couple of days my feelings of sadness and negativity towards my son turning into a teenager have gone. I had so much fear. The fear of being alone, of him not needing me, the fear of having no significance in his life, the fear he may not love me as much, and fear of the unknown.
I think this fear started to shift a few weeks ago as I shed a few tears while chatting with my Mum. I was complaining how I had been confined to my room over the Christmas holidays as my son and his friends took over the lounge room. I was sad and felt alone due to the snippets of dialogue I seemed to grab in between his conversations with his friends either in the room or via Skype and other forms of social media.
My Mum listened and then said, “you know Shell, he needs you more now than ever and just knowing you are in the other room is the biggest comfort you can give him.” Just as Mum said these words, in came my beautiful boy, leaned over, kissed me, and then walked out again.
Mums do not stop being right.
I think this was the pivotal moment where my fear shifted. I started to embrace what lies ahead.
I am planning a big holiday later in the year that I’ve been saving towards for a couple of years. It occurred to me that he will be the perfect age to travel, to take in all the culture and be the best companion while we share these experiences.
I started to have little daydreams about teaching him to drive, watching him excel further in school and in life, meeting future girlfriends, knowing he’ll always need me to some degree even if he doesn’t know it; helping him with career choices, making his own travel plans, and the list goes on.
No, I didn’t get as far of thinking about grandkids – ewe now that’s just incomprehensible. 😉
But I did start to get excited.
I started to reflect on my friends who have teenagers and one dear friend in particular, Sam who has a few. I don’t think Sam realises what an amazing mother she is and what a great teacher she has been to me.
Her teachings and insights have been in abundance. I have been shown how to be patient, not to judge to hastily, to pick your battles, and how to really love and let go.
Through Sam, I’ve become excited.
I’m excited that like Sam, I too may influence and share insight with my other darling girlfriends who are mums or soon to be with younger children who one day, soon enough will also be facing the eve of teenagehood.
I’m excited as I write this, that my boy’s just got out of bed struggling to sleep due to the excitement of tomorrow – I think they always stay little boys to some degree.
I am very proud of the young man my son has become. As he enters this new phase, I am also proud that I have had something to do with it.
So am I crazy, I think not. I’m a mother of a teenager and I’m excited!
Happy Birthday Bubba! I love you more than all the stars in the universe. I’m so proud of the beautiful soul you are and the amazing young man you are becoming.
Bring on the teenagehood!
Love, light and snuggles xo