Anxiety is a bitch – moving on can be hard!

We’ve all had to do this on many occasions I am sure – make that final decision or any decision for that matter so we can move on. Move on either mentally, emotionally or physically.

In my case for now one of the main things that have been causing me major anxiety (an ongoing condition) that I keep putting off writing a blog on the trip of a lifetime I had with my son just over a month ago. I had all intensions to write regularly and share my journey. In one sense I did do this via my Facebook page, yet that was for a limited audience and I was happy with that but it was not what I had intended. I wanted everyone to witness and possibly learn some things along the way of traveling with a teenager and how I dealt with and embraced it. Writing makes me happy, very happy and it is something I have wanted to do since I was very young. My dream is to write a book and have my little piece of influence in the world.

Anxiety is a bitch – it’s a wretched thing and most recently has overtaken my life since I returned from my holiday.

This to some may seem like nothing and definitely not worth causing anxiety. However, those who suffer it, either it be alongside with stress or mixed with depression will relate. We cannot always, actually very rarely in my opinion control our outbreaks or triggers. The writing and not fulfilling my intention for me, has been a trigger. It is not all that has caused my anxiety, but has been one of the major factors.

What I find important is that I have acknowledge my recent depression and in particular anxiety. It may take hours, days, weeks to REALLY acknowledge it, yet when it happens I think we deserve a pat of the back.

Yesterday I had a bloody horrible day. I was shortness of breath all day, my heart was pounding, I suffered yet another migraine which seems to be a common occurrence and was pretty much bedridden. I spoke to a couple of people but not in depth about it, yet enough to realise what was happening. I struggled through the day to get a little bit of work done, some job searching and follow ups and that was enough to feel slightly productive and less guilty for riding off a day. I was sad and empty!

Today, a new day, a busy day with work and my spirits were lighter. I think I had an epiphany very early this morning or something close to it…for me. I realised that I could let go of writing this blog of step by step of my story and just share what I did on Facebook. It’s not great, articulately it’s not correct in many areas, I use slang, and my tense is all over the place BUT it does wrap up my trip. My friends kept telling me how great my updates were and that they felt they were on the journey with me. This actually was my intent, although not quite as planned.

Anxiety is a bitch but I’m moving on and working on getting over this latest episode. Will I be successful – who knows. I’ve got so many other things to deal with right now but this is one thing I can mark off my mental list.

Soooo… for those that are interested please read on for my final wrap up on our trip of a lifetime as taken from my Facebook page which was shared with friends, and now I’m sharing it with you.

Love, Light, acceptance and snuggles 🙂 xo

Vietnam, Cambodia, Phuket & a Teenager – Trip of a Lifetime

First day in Vietnam we were conned into buying street donuts, bananas, having our shoes “apparently” repaired, tried Vietnam’s idea of coffee but was yum, learnt a lesson in the need to barter and understand currency, and Jack captured some beautiful scenery along the way.

We had an amazing trip to Ha Long Bay and stayed overnight on a junk boat. Way beyond our expectations with our own room and bathroom, fantastic food and service, $4 cocktails, kayaking, swam at the beach, walked a zillion stairs to fabulous views, visited an awesome cave, learning history, and building great friendships.

Train ride from Hanoi to Hue was a challenge to say the least but playing a card game called ‘Asshole’ 😉 helped pass a few hours. It was gruelling trip with the train driver being very heavy footed on the break but thankfully we arrived in Hue safe and sound. Hue was absolutely beautiful (my fav place in Vietnam) and we had the privilege of taking a motorbike tour to the country side (major highlight). We visited an old museum with a gorgeous 78yr old displaying to us the old way of harvesting rice. We visited a temple and I loved hearing the monks chant and watched Buddhist pay their respect by prayer. Hue is very cultural, pretty, sacred…special.

The next part of our trip was to Hoi An, another favourite. We were here for 3 days and was able to get clothes made, do a cooking class (look out dinner party coming soon) followed by a bucket of cocktails, went on a bike tour which was fabulous, rode a buffalo (YES YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY), a ride in a very, very slow boat into the heart of Hoi An (very pretty), drank cheap but yummy beer, which I’ve now grown accustomed too, and great food at some of the most delicious restaurants.

Last part of our Vietnam tour arriving in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) and must say it was our least favourite of places we had visited. Less cultural than others, people and sites were different – basically a very different vibe to where we had been. The people, however, who we travelled with, did not disappoint and my heart aches now knowing that our time together has come to an end. In Saigon we visited the War Museum which brought me to tears, visited the Cu Chi Tunnels (OMG) and our guide who survived the war was truly inspiration. We shot a riffle for the first time (ouch on the shoulder), crawled in the tunnels and I only survived 20m, however, Jack did much better than me (YAY Jack), ate Mexican in Vietnam, Jack went to his first club (we kept a good eye on him), and then had our final farewell dinner and drinks, a few more drinks and we behaved 😉

The chapter in our adventure was to Siem Reap, Cambodia, where we met our Mama/Mimi and had 3 awesome nights together before Mimi had to leave to teach her international retreat. In our time here we gate crashed a cultural Indian dance concert (not really, well sort of), we visited the Cambodian Circus which was unreal, shopped at the local markets, and enjoyed the hotel for relaxation. I LOVED my 4 post bed and wished I could have packed it away to bring home with me. We visited the Angkor Wat, Bayon, & Ta Prohm (my fav) Temples. Our last day we did the Flight of the Gibbon – flying fox through the jungle with the highest point getting to 45m and the longest run was 310m (a couple of panic attacks were had – it’s high I’m telling you). Our last night in Cambodia was catching up with some of our Vietnam crew and that made it even more special. It was fabulous having this time with my Mum overseas and my boy (3 generations) as it’s something we’ve wanted to do for years.

Our last part of the journey and this chapter of our travels book was Phuket in Thailand. After a couple of disappointing and fairly miserable days due to torrential rain and the hotel of choice, things picked up. We visited the Tiger Kingdom and what an experience with two great new Aussie friends Jess & Ivan. It was a last minute plan after our elephant tour was cancelled due to bad weather, but was meant to be. Something we’ll always remember.
We finally did our tour starting with a brilliant time down the rapids which was pretty full on. Both Jack and I couldn’t get the smile off our faces. We then went on an elephant tour and visited a beautiful waterfall. We’re smiling and feeling happy. Next tour as the rain stayed away finally in our last couple of days was a Quad Bike tour through the East side of Phuket including a jungle terrain and near the beach. We rode in pumped out Tuk Tuk’s, shopped, ate and had a few cocktails at Hooters, watched the Grand Final to see South’s win, part-took in a pool party, ate (oh I’ve already said that lol), walked the beach in between downpours, chilled in our hotel room and overall enjoyed each other’s company.

This truly is a trip of a lifetime and one that I would recommend to everyone to do! Travelling with your teen is great, fabulous, enjoyable, totally AWESOME or maybe it’s just that my son ROCKS! Either way, what a ride, what an adventure, what a journey, and I can’t wait for the next chapter which we’re already starting to thinking about. 🙂 xo

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